So Far but so Near
by MH Fearless4Life
Summary: After everything Olivia has been through, what will happen next? Can she go on as before she was raped? Read and find out!
1. So far, but so near

**A/N : OK. So this is my first fan fiction so you have to bear down with me. You have to drop by and give me a review! And tell me if you think I should continue b/c you all are so important! Ha ha**

**Chapter 1: Letting Go**

" I don't want you to leave." Olivia said through tears as she and her husband Mark stood on the military base. He was a soldier heading to Iraq. He gently touched the side of her face and leaned in to kiss her.

" I know baby, but you know I have to do this." He said as he wiped away her tears.

" I know, but it's hard every time." She choked.

" Please don't cry. I won't be able to do this if I leave you crying." He whispered. Olivia quickly wiped her stray extra tears away and cleared her throat.

" No tears. OK... I love you so much Mark and I am so proud of you."

" I love you too babe. I will be back I promise. OK?" He smiled at her before giving her another kiss.

" I know you will." She returned his smiled. " And don't you forget to call and if you can't call, write me. I will be waiting." She said as he walked away. The other soldiers was walking to the jets too.

" I love you Olivia." He said.

" Love you too." She mouthed. Mark looked one last time at his beautiful wife before getting onto the jet.

' Please let me come home safe.' He silently prayed. He finally got on the jet and they headed up into the sky. Back on the ground, Olivia waved until she couldn't't see anything but the grey sky.

The whole scene looked so ironic. Here she was crying and it looked like it was going to rain.

She walked back solemnly back into her car. After starting the ignition, she headed for the three hour drive to New York.


	2. Chapter 2

1Chapter 2: Surprise

Olivia came into the apartment more distraut than before. She put her things down and walked into the bathroom. She grasped the ends of the sink and tried to catch her breath as she cried her heart out. She looked at herself in the mirror.

'I can't do this.' She thought. Olivia's eyes went to her shaver. She stared at it warily before she grabbed it. She pulled out the razor and slid down onto the floor. She held the razor shakily near her wrist. Olivia counted to five but not before she broke down.

" I'm so sorry, Mark." She cried. After she got herself together, she went to get up and she threw away the razor in the trash. Just as she got to her feet, she ran to the toilet and threw up her breakfast. When she felt like she wouldn't need the toilet anymore, she leaned against the cool wall.

' I have to go to the doctor. This has gone on too long.' She told herself. ' Maybe it's just the flu.'

Olivia slowly got back up and went out of the bathroom. She found a jacket and grabbed her keys to leave.

LoveLivLoveLivLoveLivLoveLivLoveLiv

" Olivia Benson." A pretty nurse with black hair and piercing blue eyes said.

" Here." Olivia told her as she walked up to the nurse. The nurse smiled and led her to a room.

"Dr. Stevens will be here in a minute."

" Thank you Nurse..."

" Jenny. And you're welcome." She smiled and left.

Two minutes later, Dr. Stevens came in.

" Hey Olivia. Nice to se you again."

"You too." Olivia smiled a bit.

" So...Tell me. What's going on?" He said as he took a seat.

" Well, Mark was deported this morning to Iraq." She looked down at her hands. Dr. Stevens patted her shoulder.

" I'm sorry. I truly am. But what I meant though was how are you feeling health wise?"

" Oh. Sorry. Um... I have been throwing up lately and it is getting on my nerves."

Dr. Stevens looked at his clipboard.

" Ok. I'm going to check your temp." He said and then stuck a thermometer in her mouth. When it beeped, he looked at it. " You have no temp. Hey. One question. Do you think that you could be pregnant?" He smiled.

" I don't know. I had no time to think if I could be because I was so worried about Mark."

" Well, I'll see if that is the case. I need you to put on this gown." He gave her a thin blue gown and left. Minutes later, he came back in.

" Ok. You ready?" He asked.

" Yeah. Let's get this over with." Olivia said with a sigh. She was a little scared. Not because of the possibility of her being pregnant, but that Mark was not here to be with her.

" I'll be right back with your results." He said as he left again. It seemed like forever before he came back with the results.

" Olivia, Congrats! You're going to be a mama." He said smiling. Olivia fought to keep her tears away.

" Thank you. Um... When do I need to come back?"

" In about 2 months."

" Ok. Thanks again." She said. He smiled.

" You're welcome. " He said. He went out after Olivia.

Back at her house, Olivia went straight to her bed and cried. She cried for herself and for Mark. How was she going to go through this pregnancy with out him? He was always there for her when she needed it. Olivia grabbed a picture of her and Mark off of the light stand. It was them on their honeymoon. They was walking on the beach and had a tourist take that picture of them. Olivia was looking at Mark dreamily. Mark, with his short, brown hair and brown eyes looked right back at her. He gave her this big smile as they held hands. Olivia missed his smile already. AS she held the picture to her heart, she fell asleep dreaming of the day that she first met Mark.

Flashback

Olivia was sitting on the grass at Times Square reading a good book. She was in the middle of a romantic scene when a handsome guy came up to her and sat next to her. He smiled and handed her a rose.

" For a beautiful lady such as yourself." He told her.

" And you are..." Olivia asked.

" I'm sorry. My name is Mark Johnson. And what is your name?"

" Olivia Benson."

" It is nice to meet you Olivia. I want to get to know you." He smiled.

" You are so straight forward aren't you?"

" I am not one to feed lines, but I can't help it that I am falling in love with you. "

" So are you asking me out?" She looked him in the eyes.

" Yes." He gave her that grin again.

A/N: I know that you know you want to give me a review:)


	3. Chapter 3

1**A/N: Ok. So thanks to all of you that reviewed. It makes my day. I started screaming up and down after I wrote my first chapter and ya'll reviewed. I'm super glad you guys like it! So I will shut up and write this next chapter!**

**Chapter 3**

'Ding Dong'

Olivia heard the door bell and slowly got up to answer it. She hoped it was Mark telling her that he was home for good, but her hope faded when she saw Casey. She was happy that Casey was there, but she wished it was Mark.

" Hey, Case." Olivia tried to fake a smile, but failed miserably.

" I heard. I am so sorry, Liv. We all will miss him." She said as she gave Olivia a hug and walked in. Olivia sat with her on the couch.

" Yeah. I cried most of the morning and was laying in bed a minute ago." She sub consciously rubbed her still flat stomach. Casey raised an eyebrow. Olivia noticed what she was doing and quickly stopped herself.

" What is going on, Liv?"

" I...um... I am pregnant." She softly said. Casey squealed.

" Oh my goodness, Liv! This is wonderful news... Are you happy about it Liv?" She asked since Olivia was quiet. She had a tear going down her face.

" Yeah. I am, but I wish Mark was here to help me raise this child. I know sometimes they are there for only a couple of months, but it could take years!" Olivia sobbed into Casey's shoulder.

" There, there. It will be ok. I will help you anytime you need it. Day or night." She whispered.

" Thanks, Case. That means so much to me."

" You're welcome...Do you think you are going to be ready for work? The guys are really annoying with out you there to straighten them out." She said as she tried to lighten the mood.

" I don't know, but I need a few days to sort out some things." She said. Casey nodded.

" I understand, Liv. Just know we love you and we miss you." She told her. Olivia smiled

" I miss you guys too."

" Well, I have to go, but you take care. OK?" She asked. Olivia nodded.

" Ok, see you Liv." She said as she went out the door. Olivia sighed and leaned back into the cushions.

**IloveSVUiloveSVUiloveSVUiloveSVUiloveSVUiloveSVUiloveSVUiloveSVUiloveSVU**

3 days later

Olivia walked into the precinct and saw Elliot at his desk looking at his papers and Fin and Munch was talking to another detective. Elliot was the first to look up. He smiled.

" Hey, Liv. Long time,no see."

" I have only been gone fore a week and you guys are already misbehaving. Sheesh. Can you give a girl a darn break?" She asked. Munch and Fin looked up at the right moment. Fin came over and gave her a hug.

" Hey girl. You have been gone for way too long. I can't stand another one of those conspiracy theories anymore from Munch." He complained.

" It's not my fault that the government has strippers for spies. It is pleasurable blackmail." He looked over his glasses at Olivia. " Nice to see you Liv." He gave her a smile.

" Yeah, well, I have some news for you all. Just follow me to Cragen's office." She said as she went to the door. She knowcked.

" Come in." She heard him say. She walked in with the guys following her. When Cragen saw everyone in his office, he gave them his attention. " Do I even want to know?" He asked.

" I have news for everyone." She said. " As you all may know, Mark left three days ago, but he left something with me...What I want to say is..." She started but Munch interrupted her.

" Yeah?" He grinned. Olivia gave him that mean look. She knew he was mocking her.

" What I was saying was is that I am pregnant." She finally said. Everyone's jaw dropped.

" Wow!" " That's great!" Everyone was talking at the same time.

" Congrats Liv." Cragen finally said.

" Thanks. Just wanted to let you all know that." She said.

" Well you will be on desk duty on your 5th month and if you ever need anything, you know you can call on any of us." He told her.

" Thanks. I will."

"Well, everyone can go know. Shows over, but I want you to stay Olivia." He said. Everyone left. Olivia sat down on a chair.

" Yeah?" She asked.

" How are you taking everything?" He asked truly concerned.

" OK I guess. I still miss him. Waiting for the day that he calls." She told him. She purposely left out the part of her almost committing suicide. He nodded.

" Well, If you are ready to come back to work, you will always have a desk here."

" I want to work today." She said.

" Ok. That's great." She smiled and then left.

**SVUrockSVUrocksSVUrocksSVUrocksSVUrocksSVUrocksSVUrocks**

4 Months later

Olivia was at home when her phone rang. She got up and went to her cell phone. She looked at the number but it didn't look familiar. She answered it anyways.

" Hello?" She spoke into the phone.

" Baby. It feels so good to hear your wonderful voice." Mark's voice filled the air. Olivia's knees almost went weak hearing his voice. She started crying.

" Mark. I missed you so much." She told him. He could hear the tears in her voice.

" I missed you too. How is everything?" He asked. Wanting to know how she has been doing.

" Good, but it is difficult with out you."

" I know, but you have to be strong. For me at least."

" Yeah... Um Mark? I have something to tell you." She started. She bit her lip.

" Yeah, baby?"

" I'm pregnant." She smiled into the phone.

" Oh my god! This is great! I'm going to be a father!" She shouted to his friends. Olivia heard so clapping and some whistling. She couldn't help but smile.

" I knew you would be excited. I am 4 months pregnant, but I will be on my 5th in about 2 weeks." She told him.

" Liv. You just made my day. I can't wait to see you and the baby." He whispered.

" I know. And like I said, I will wait forever for you babe. OK? You just worry about how you're going to get your butt home." She smiled. She heard is grin also.

" I will. Well, I have to go, but I love you sweetheart. Always." He told her sweetly.

" I love you too. Make me proud. OK?" She asked.

" Yes Ma'am!" He smiled. Olivia laughed.

After they hung up, Olivia held the phone to her ehart. She knew everything was going to be fine.

**Hope you all liked!**


	4. Chapter 4

1**A/N: Ok peeps. So here is my 4th chapter so like always, send me lots of reviews. Freestyler9125, thanks for everything. If you look towards the end, you will see what you told me. And thanks to those of you who have kept on reviewing. It makes my day as always. Ok. I will shut up. But first, Happy Holidays!**

**Chapter 4: Double the love **

Olivia was flipping channels on her plasma T.V. when she came across CNN. They was talking about the war in Iraq. She saw Mark talking to a reporter on the back of an ambulance. A bomb went off and hit a place near them, but unfortunately, some got hurt. Including Mark. He only had a gauze on his neck, but Olivia was pissed.

" If I have to go fight them myself I will!" She yelled out into the room. She was fuming. She just hoped Mark would call her.

Just then, Olivia felt the baby kick. She placed her hand on her swollen stomach.

" I'm sorry sweetheart. Too much stress for you huh?" She asked even though she knew she wouldn't get a answer.

" Let's go see what you are going to be so I can tell daddy." Olivia said as she got up. She made an appointment so she decided to go ahead and leave to get there earlier.

SVUSVUSVUSVUSVUSVUSVUSVUSVUSVUSVUSVUSVUSVUSVUSVU

" Olivia Benson?" A nurse came out.

" Right here." She said and then followed the lady. After she sat down, the doctor came in soon after that.

" Hello Mrs. Benson." He greeted her with a smile.

" Hi."

" So you are here to find out the sex of the baby?" He asked as he looked onto his clipboard.

" Yeah."

" Well, lay down and pull up your shirt." He told her as he got the gel and the ultra scan. He spread it over her stomach. Luckily the baby was facing them so the doctor was able to see.

"Congratulations. You are having twins. Two girls." He informed. Olivia smiled.

" Thank you." She said as he handed her paper towels to wipe herself off.

" You are welcome." He said and then led her out when she was done.

Olivia drove home with her favorite band U2 playing in the background. You would know she was really happy if she was playing U2. Olivia smiled thinking of the time when Mark proposed to her.

_ Flashback_

_Olivia and Mark had been dating for a year and it was getting serious real quick. Olivia loved everything about him. Inside and out. Mark believed she was so beautiful, very funny and talented. He knew she was the one for him._

_So Saturday night, they was laying on Olivia's bed holding each other. Olivia was drawing lazy circles on his back. She had her eyes closed and was content._

_" Olivia." Mark said in a voice Olivia found sexy._

_" Mmm?" She smiled and looked up at him._

_" You know I love you, right?" He looked her right in the eyes._

_" Yeah."_

_" I believe there is no one on Earth that can beat you. Not your smile, your humor, the talent that is inside you and hell, even your body! The point is, is that I love you for who you are and nothing is going to change that." He said. _

_" I love you too." Olivia smiled._

_" Good, because that is the reason why I want to do this." He said and took her hand in his and slipped a 4-carrot ring on her finger. Olivia looked at it in aw. She looked back at him. He kissed her forehead._

_" I love you Olivia Benson. Would you like to be my wife until the day we die? Cause I sure as hell want to be with you for the rest of my life."_

_Olivia's smiled turned into a grin. She got on top of him._

_" Yes baby. I love you so much." She kissed him on the lips. Mark turned her around to where she was at the bottom._

_" Let's make a baby. You up for it?"He asked._

_" Yes. I want a family with you." She kissed his neck._

_" Ok. I want that too." He gave her a passionate kiss._

_ End of flashback_

Olivia smiled again as she turned to Casey's house. Olivia knew she had the day off, so she decided to tell her the good news. Olivia turned off the ignition and music before she walked up. At the door, she knocked about four times before Casey answered. Casey was in a robe and her face was glowing. Olivia tried not to laugh.

" Olivia...I um..." She stuttered. She expression looked like her mom just caught her having sex with her boyfriend.

" Casey. I have done it too, so you can pick up your jaw. Do you want me to come back later?" She asked. Casey shook her head and finally stopped stuttering.

" No. Um come in." She made way for Olivia to come inside. Olivia sat down on the livingroom couch. Just then, she saw a handsome man with a six-pack and gorgeous blue eyes come down. He had only shorts on.

" Babe, come back to bed. Who was that?" He asked. Casey got red.

" You naughty counselor. Not bad though." Olivia laughed." You want to introduce us?" She asked.

" Yeah, uh... Olivia this is Jake. Jake, this is my friend Olivia."

" Hi." Olivia just smiled and shook his hand.

" Hi. Case, I'll be upstairs." He kissed her and went back. Casey blushed more intensely.

" Casey. Dish. You gave me the who. So when, where, why and how." Olivia demanded.

" I met him a year ago. He is a lawyer. I don't know the why but we was introduced by a friend. There. So why are you here?" She asked trying to deflect the subject. Olivia noticed.

" Casey, we have been friends for a long time. You never told me."

" I'm sorry. But what's up with you?" She tried again.

" I see you want to drop it, so I will. I am here because I wanted to tell you some good news." She got excited all over again. She wanted to tell the world.

" You won a million dollars and are giving me half of it." she joked.

" You wish, but no. I am having twins... and they are girls." She smiled. Casey gave her a hug.

" Congratulations Liv! I am so happy for you. Mark will be so happy. She said. Olivia nodded.

" You know, I have been crying so much after Mark left, that I forgot everything that was going on around me. I know Mark would have not wanted me to cry over him, so I am going to be that tough kick butt detective you have always known." She tried to keep a straight face but failed. She laughed. " Well, at least after I have the girls."

" Yeah. Well, while you was PMSing, we missed your tough attitude." Casey emphasized the PMSing part. She smiled.

" Mmmhmm. Well, I will let you get back to your hunk. I have to go." She said as she got up. Casey nodded.

" Ok. See ya soon." Casey walked Olivia to the door.

" Bye." Olivia said.

" Bye."

**Hope you liked that little scene. There is more to come, so sit back and enjoy the ride!**


	5. Chapter 5

**I decided to put a song to this. I think it fits Mark and Olivia right down to the T. The song is called **_**Because You Loved Me **_**by **_**Celine Dion. **_**She is one of my favorite singers. Like always, R and R. And tell me what you think! I want lotsssss os reviews! Love ya! 3**

**Chapter 5: Loving You**

_For all those times you stood by me  
For all the truth that you made me see  
For all the joy you brought to my life  
For all the wrong that you made right  
For every dream you made come true  
For all the love I found in you  
I'll be forever thankful baby  
You're the one who held me up  
And never let me fall  
You're the one who saw me through, through it all _

You were my strength when I was weak  
You were my voice when I couldn't speak  
You were my eyes when I couldn't see  
You saw the best there was in me  
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach  
You gave me faith 'cause you believed  
I'm everything I am  
Because you loved me

You gave me wings and made me fly  
You touched my hand I could touch the sky  
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me  
You said no star was out of reach  
You stood by me and I stood tall  
I had your love I had it all  
I'm grateful for each day you gave me  
Maybe I don't know that much  
But I know this much is true  
I was blessed because I was loved by you

You were my strength when I was weak  
You were my voice when I couldn't speak  
You were my eyes when I couldn't see  
You saw the best there was in me  
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach  
You gave me faith 'cause you believed  
I'm everything I am  
Because you loved me  
You were always there for me  
The tender wind that carried me  
The light in the dark shining your love into my life  
You've been my inspiration  
Through the lies you were the truth  
My world is a better place because of you

You were my strength when I was weak  
You were my voice when I couldn't speak  
You were my eyes when I couldn't see  
You saw the best there was in me  
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach  
You gave me faith 'cause you believed  
I'm everything I am  
Because you loved me

You were my strength when I was weak  
You were my voice when I couldn't speak  
You were my eyes when I couldn't see  
You saw the best there was in me  
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach  
You gave me faith 'cause you believed  
I'm everything I am  
Because you loved me

I'm everything I am  
Because you loved me 

Olivia was taking a nap when she heard her cell phone ring. Olivia mumbled something and answered it.

" Benson." She said.

" Hey sweetheart." Mark's heavenly voice came through. He was sitting outside of his tent.

" Mark! Hey baby!" Olivia smiled with her face all lit up. She laid her head back on the pillow.

" How are you and the baby?" He asked.

" The three of us are great." She said smiling as she was rubbing her stomach. The babies kicked.

" We are having twins?!" He asked excitedly. Olivia could hear the smile in his voice.

" Yes, baby. We are having twin girls." She told him. Olivia didn't know this, but Mark was running around like a seven year old boy who just got his first GI Joe action figure .

" Oh, sweetie. I love you so much as do I love the girls. I miss all three of you." He said. He finally calmed down and was sitting back in his original place.

" I know you do. I miss you too. Speaking of missing you, I saw you on CNN. You had a gauze on your neck. What happened?"She asked. She wanted to know the answer for the longest time. It had been a month since she last heard from him. So she was dying to know.

" There was a bomb that went off near our station. Only a few got injured. No body died. But I promise you that I am ok. I am still walking fine and the wound has healed." He added quickly because he knew Olivia would fret. He didn't want her to stress especially when she was carrying twins.

" I know you are ok, because you never go down with out a fight. But baby. That scared the shit out of me." She told him.

" I never want you to be scared because I am always going to be there for you. Near or far. OK?"

" OK."

" Baby, I love you, but I have to go. You take care. I also wanted to tell you that I sent you a little something some time ago and it should be there by now, but if you ever miss me, I want you to look at it, you hear? And before you know it, I'll be home." He said.

" I love you too. Bye."

" Bye my love." He said and he hung up.

Olivia smiled. Just then, the door bell rung. Olivia got out of the bed clad in maternity pants and a spaghetti strap shirt. She went to the door. The mail man handed her a manilla colored package.

" For Olivia Benson." The young man said. Olivia nodded.

" That's me." She said as she signed the form. She smiled and handed it back to him.

" You have a great day ma'am." He said as he turned around.

" You too. Thank you." She said before shutting the door. Olivia flipped the package and looked at the sender's address. Just as Mark predicted, the mail arrived. Olivia immediately opened the mail. Inside there was a DVD. Olivia popped it in the player and sat on the couch. She hit play as soon as she saw the screen pop up. Mark's handsome face appeared on the screen.

"_Hey Liv. Just wanted to film this little thing so you can always see my face anytime of the day."_

_He told her. Then the camera was shaking_ _a little._

" _Sorry, baby. I am trying the hold the camera while talking to you and walking. Bad combination." He said._

Olivia smiled. Mark could be goofy sometimes. She kept on looking.

_Mark walked over the one of the tents. It was a little dark so you could see the lights from the inside. Mark pointed to it._

" _See this is what the guys do when they do not have anyone as smart and beautiful and talented as you in their lives. They are doing you know what with the lady soldiers. But I have you to come home to so there is no need for me to be in there. I love you baby." He kissed the air and blew it like he was sending it to her. He then turned to go to another tent, but he went in this time._

" _This is my tent. I have knuckle heads for bunk mates." He said. One of the soldiers looked up at the camera. " Yo dude. I am making a DVD for my wife. Anything you wanna say?" _

" _Yeah. Elvis has just left the building." He said and went to lay back down covering his head._

_Mark laughed._

" _He is just grumpy because we have to get up early in the morning." He explained. He then set the camera on a tripod. He tilted it down. Seconds later, Olivia saw him get on the floor in front of it._

" _Now this is what I do every night to get buff." He said and did his push ups. First he did it the regular way but then he did it with one hand. Next when he would come back up, he would clap his hands and meet the floor with his hands. He did that for a minute. _

Olivia smiled again. Mark always loved to surprise her with different things he could do. He stilled seemed like a seven year old boy.

_After a minute of him showing her different things, he went to his bed and sat down._

" _Sweetheart, I wrote this poem for you. I hope you like it." He said. He brought out a piece of paper._

" _Looking into your eyes, I see beauty_

_Looking into your soul, I see love_

_Looking into your heart, I see me._

_When ever I am not with you, my eyes loose their shine_

_When ever I am not with you, my soul gives away_

_When ever I am not with you, my heart dies._

_Loving you is the easiest thing_

_Loving you helps me love myself_

_Loving you is my greatest gift._

_Looking into your eyes, I see beauty_

_Looking into your soul, I see love_

_Looking into your heart, I see me._"

" _I love you so much, Liv. I promise I will be there and we can be a family. I have to go, but you be strong for me. Love you." He said before he cut off the camera._

Olivia wiped away a tear. " I love you too, Mark." She got up and grabbed a tissue." I love you too."


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I love yall so much. You all are so great. So I want to thank all those who are always sending me reviews. So this is for ya'll. I love this chapter. And this is another song by ****Celine Dion ****called ****A Mother's Prayer.**

**One more thing...HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!! 2008 baby! Two more years or maybe one more year and I am out of high school! haha. Ok I will shut up!**

**Chapter 6: A Mother's Prayer**

_**Celine Dion "A Mother's Prayer"**_

I pray you'll be my eyes  
And watch her where she goes  
And help her to be wise  
Help me to let go

Every mother's prayer  
Every child knows  
Lead her to a place  
Guide her with your grace  
To a place where she'll be safe

I pray she finds your light  
And holds it in her heart  
As darkness falls each night  
Remind her where you are

Every mother's prayer  
Every child knows  
Need to find a place  
Guide her to a place  
Give her faith so she'll be safe

Lead her to a place  
Guide her with your grace  
To a place where she'll be safe  


3 months later: Olivia's 9th month

Casey was with Olivia at Olivia's house. She had been helping Olivia for the last month. Whatever she needed, Casey would get it for her. That was the kind of bond that they had. Always there for each other.

" You want something to drink Liv?" Casey asked. They was sitting on the couch watching TV.

" I got it Case." Olivia said as she was about to get up.

" You sure?"

" Yeah. I can walk a short distance..." Olivia said before she almost fell near the kitchen doorway. She had a contraction and her water broke. Casey ran over to her before she had a rude awakening with the hard floor. " Ahhh! Oh shit. On another hand, I don't think I can walk so good. My water just broke." She looked down and saw/felt the liquid come down her legs.

" Ok. Let's get you to the hospital." Casey said. Olivia nodded her head in agreement. After they got in the car, Casey cranked it up and drove. She almost broke every rule in the driving book trying to get her to the hospital.

" Ok. It's going to be ok...You ok?" She looked at Olivia. Olivia screamed at her.

" Casey! Look at the road!" She panicked. Just as Casey looked back towards the road, a car was coming towards their way. Casey swerved just in time to get out of the way with out being hit. This time, Casey slowed down a little, but kept her eye on the road.

" Sorry Liv."

" Just get me to the hospital." She said breathing in and out in pain. A minute after that, Casey parked at the ER entrance. She got out and help Olivia.

" Ow. Ow Ow Ow! It hurts!" Olivia said as they got inside of the hospital. Many people just started at her.

" Help please! My friend here is in labor." Casey yelled for a nurse. A few seconds later, a nurse came around with a wheelchair. They helped Olivia in it and rolled her down to a room. After Casey filled out the sheets, she went to the room Olivia was in. Olivia was in the bed rubbing her stomach.

" Dr. Ackerman said it won't be long. These babies want to come out really fast." She said. Casey nodded and pulled up a chair.

* * *

3 hours later

" I WANT MARK!!!!!!!" Olivia screamed as she started pushing.

" Ok. Just relax. When I say push, you push again...ok?" Dr. Ackerman asked. Olivia nodded. She was already very tired of pushing. Casey was right beside her holding her hand, but her own hand began turning beet red from the hard squeezes.

" Push Oliiva."

" Ahhhh! Get it out of me!!!!!!!!" She screamed again.

" ...5...4...3...2...1. Good job. I can see the head. You're doing a great job." Dr. Ackerman smiled.

" Please...Just get her out of me now!" Olivia cried.

" Ok. Push again. Good...good. Just two more pushes ok?" Olivia nodded her ehad and held her breath as she pushed. Casey reminded her to breath as she pushed so she wouldn't faint. Olivia breathed in and out as she was instructed to do so. A minute later, Olivia heard a scream. She smiled in relief.

" Is my baby ok? Is she healthy?" She asked sort of panicky for no reason. The doctor smiled.

" She is perfectly fine and healthy." She said as she handed the first baby to a nurse to get her cleaned off. Dr. Ackerman turned back to Olivia.

" Ok. I want you to push again and get this baby into the world." She said with a smile. Olivia sat up again and pushed with all her strength. She layed down as she caught her breath. After a while, Olivia heard another scream.

" Can I see her and my other baby?" Olivia asked. Dr. Ackerman handed her the first ababy, but after her second born got cleaned off, she handed her to Olivia as well. Olivia thanked her. Casey stood behind her and cooed at the little ones in Olivia's arms. Olivia grinned. She finally had the babies, but there was one person who was missing. Mark. Olivia desperately wanted Mark to be there for the births of their little girls.

" They are so beautiful Liv! what are you going to call those cuties?" She asked. Olivia really didn't know. She wanted to make that all important deciscion with Mark, but she knew she had to make it soon. So she decided with two names that meant alot to Mark. His mother's name and his grandmother's name. The names were pretty.

" This baby right here name is Lillian Nicole Johnson." She said reffering to her first born. Lilly was the name of Mark's mother. " And then Maria Anna-Rose Johnson for my little one here." Olivia said. She was happy with the names and she knew Mark would be too. She just could not wait till she told him.

* * *

1 year later

Olivia was in the nursery reading a book to her beauitful daughters. The girls were almost asleep when she heard the door open. Olivia quietly put the book down and went out the room. She closed the door. She called out.

" Case? Is that you? What are you doing here so early?" She asked out still not seeing any body. Olivia knew Casey had to be in court and it was not likely for her to be here at that time. Olivia walked over to the living room and stopped dead in her tracks...

" Oh my God."

**Haha. Gotcha! Cliffhanger. Love the sound of it! It has a ring to it! Well, Send me lotsssssss of reviews! This story depends on you! Yes You. So push the purple button to send a review my way!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: I love this chapter even better. It is great so yeah. You have to read it!**

_**Chapter 7: Home Sweet Home**_

_Previously_

_1 year later _

_Olivia was in the nursery reading a book to her beauitful daughters. The girls were almost asleep when she heard the door open. Olivia quietly put the book down and went out the room. She closed the door. She called out._

_" Case? Is that you? What are you doing here so early?" She asked out still not seeing any body. Olivia knew Casey had to be in court and it was not likely for her to be here at that time. Olivia walked over to the living room and stopped dead in her tracks..._

_" Oh my God."_

"Hey baby." Mark said with that grin of his. That grin. She missed that part of him. Olivia ran to him and knocked him down on the floor.

" Oh Mark! I missed you so much! You just don't know!" Olivia said as she kissed him everywhere. His neck, his face and then she went to his lips. Mark's things slipped from his hands when Olivia tackled him but he didn't mind. He had his hands on the small of her back. Again, grinning.

" I missed you too sweety. It has been a year since I talked to you. It feels so damn good to hear your voice and see your gorgious face." He looked right into her eyes. Olivia smiled. She got up off him and picked him up along with her. She hugged him again. Over his shoulders she noticed a bag. It looked different from his other camoflage duffle bags.

" What is that?" She asked pointing to the odd bag. Mark picked it up and showed her what was inside. Olivia gasped.

" I know I have not seen our little girls, but I wanted to give them toys and other things a father should give his children. Including love." He said with a smiled. He was excited and Olivia could tell. She took his hand and led him to the nursery. Just opening the door woke up the girls. They looked up.

" Ma ma ba ba." Lillian smiled with a grin just like Marks'.

" Yes sweety. Mama's back. I have someone here. This is your daddy. Can you say da da?" She cooed.

" Daaaaaa Daaaaa." Lilly tried to say. She giggled when she finally said it. Olivia laughed and picked up Lilly and handed her to Mark. he had a tear in his eye. It was tears of joy and pain for missing out on the first year of his kid's lives. Olivia caught this.

" Here. Sit down. She likes it being rocked back and forth... Yeah like that." She said smiling. Mark's face was glowing from the excitement again.

" She is beautiful. What's her name?" He asked.

" Lillian Nicole Johnson. And this little one over here name is Maria Anna-Rose Johnson. They both look like you with the smile." She said reffering to the baby in her arms. Mark looked at her in amazement.

" You named them after my mom and grandmother? That is the sweetest thing ever." He said looking into her eyes. Olivia gave him a slight smile.

" You wasn't there to help me with the names, so I decided the least I could do was give our girls the names of the people you love." She kissed him on the lips before grabbing Lilly and handing Maria to Mark.. He kissed Maria on the head as he watched her fall asleep. After they put the girls back down again, Olivia grabbed the baby monitor and led Mark out. She closed the door and took him to their room. Mark came up to her and wraped his arms around her waist. Olivia lifted her arms to wrap it around his neck. She lean up and kissed him. This time passionatly. She was going to let him have her tonight. Nothing was going to stop her from letting him have his way.

In the morning, Olivia woke up and looked up at her husband. She smiled. He was finally in her arms. Nothing was going to seperate them this time. She got up and grabbed her phone. She was going to call Casey to let her know that Mark was home. So she didn't have to come in and help.

She asnwered on the third ring.

" Hello?"

" Hey Case. Wanted to let you know that Mark came home. So you don't have to come in." She said.

" Oh my gosh! That is great! When did he come back?"

" Last night. We had a great time. He got to see Lilly and Maria." She said smiling. She could not get the image of Mark holding his children out of her mind. It was too adorable.

" Wow. We have to make a homecoming party for him." She said getting excited. Olivia agreed.

" That would be nice. He would love that. When should we do it?" She asked.

" Maybe next week. We can do it at my place. I have a big enough living room and the guys can watch football on the big plasma T.V I hardly ever watch anything on it anyways. Plus the guys can barbeque if they want something to eat." She said laughing. Olivia laughed along with her.

After they talked for a while, they hung up. Olivia went into the nursery and checked on the two little sleeping beauties. She kissed them and went back to their bedroom. Mark was already awake. He was looking up at the cealing with his hands behind his head. He noticed her come in. He smiled.

" Good morning Liv."

" Morning sleepyhead." She said as she got back on the bed. She layed next to him. Her head on his chest.

" I love you so much." He told her. Olivia kissed his neck. He smelled fresh. Last night, they took a shower together for the first time in almost two years. They both missed being next to each other and getting that chance to say they loved each other every day.

" I know you do. I love you too. It just seems unreal. You with me and there is nothing that can take you away from me with out hell breaking loose." She said grinning.

" I beleive you. Anyways, I wanted to thank you for giving me beautiful kids that look like their mama." He kissed her on the lips.

" Couln't have happened with out you." She said. She looked at him seductively. Mark laughed.

" Oh and one more thing. Casey suggested that we have a little homecoming next week for you. We think it is a great idea. Cragen, Fin, Munch and Elliot is going to be there. You know how you and Elliot go. Ya'll are like best friends. He is going to be excited." She informed him. Mark nodded his head.

" Yeah. That's cool. You said next week?" He asked as he got up.

" Yup." She looked at him as he put on his boxers.

" Well, then I will be there and you can count on it." He smiled at her. Olivia smiled and put on her clothes.

**A week later**

" Mark! My man. What's up?" Elliot asked. He and Mark gave each other a manly hug and shook each other's hand.

" Nothing muuch. Just hanging with my family. You know?" He and Elliot just sat down.

" Yeah. Know how that feels. Little Elliot jr. over there is as hyper as me sometimes." Elliot said happily.

" Lilly and Maria are wonderful. I just feel bad that I wasn't there for their first year of life."

" Man, just be there for them now that you are here. They won't remember when you left so just enjoy it." Elliot patted him on the shoulder. " Now lets get to the football. It always solves everything." He smiled.

Olivia looked at Mark and Elliot. They were mesmerized by the football on the T.V. screen. Cragen, Munch and Fin went over to them and watched too. So it was just Olivia, Kathy, Casey and Olivia and Kathy's kids. Elliot jr. , Maria and Lilly was on the floor playing with each other.

" So how has it been with Mark home and all?" Kathy asked.

" Great. He is in love with the girls and the girls are growing attatched to him fairly quickly. It seems like he has been there for them since birth. You would never know the difference."

" Yeah. That's good." She said sipping her drink.

" You know, I miss being at work. I have not been in for a while, but I had to take care of the girls. I think now that Mark is back, I will go."

" You know we always miss you. They guys can never function right without you. It is like a car running out of gas. It is always an excuse. ' We can't do it cause Liv isn't here. I don't drink coffee anymore because Liv isn't here to make some. I am tired and Liv isn't here to wake me up so I can get this stuff over with. Girl, You NEED to go back." She shook her head. Kathy and Olivia busted out laughing. The guys looked over at them and went back to watching football.

" I didn't know it was that bad." Olivia said while she was still laughing.

" Not only that, your temporary replacement name is Dani Beck. She is a total airhead. She has to go. Nothing is ever right without you, Liv."

" I'll be back. Don't worry." She said. Just then, Maria tried to get up and she wobbled herself over to Olivia. She picked her up.

" Hey baby! What you over here for? Don't you wanna play with sissy and Eli?" She asked in her high pitched voice.

" I wa ma ma." She tried to say, but couldn't get it right.

" Just want mama to hold you?"

Maria nodded her head.

" Ok. Well you can stay with me." She said.

" She is adorable." Kathy said. Olivia smiled.

" Thank you." She said. _' Looks just like her daddy. Man, I am so glad he is home.'_ she thought.

**Thank you for reading. I have more to come, so don't give up on me yet!:) And thank ya'll again for the reviews. They crack me up and make me happy at the same time. Keep them up though. I want alot of reviews as always.**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Hey everyone!!! Before you start throwing stones I have one announcement... Be happy...eat a cookie! Haha. Well, enjoy the new chapter!**

**Chapter 8: Two steps forward, One Step backward**

" Baby. Get up." Mark gently shook Olivia to get her up. Olivia groaned.

" Do I have to? Why can't I stay here with my sexy husband and kids?" She smiled.

" Because you said yourself that you wanted to go back to work. Plus you have not been there working since you were I don't know how many months pregnant. You need this. I will take care of the girls. Don't worry. Ok?" He kissed her neck and pulled her up. Olivia kissed him back.

" Yeah. You are right. I need to go back. Who knows what the guys have been like since I have left." She said as she got off the bed. She went into the bathroom and closed it to take a shower. Some time later, she came back out with just a towel around her waist. Mark looked at her.

" On the other hand, I might just have you call in sick. You are looking hot right now." He said licking his lips. Olivia slapped his chest.

" And that came form the man who wanted me to go to work. If you really want it, tonight might be your lucky night." She said with a seductive smile. She went to her closet and got out some clothes.

" Oh come on! This is pure torture. I am back for only a month or so and I 'might' get some? That doesn't sound right." He whined.

" Hey. Don't push it big guy." She said as she finished dressing. Mark just rolled his eyes and laid his head back on the pillow. Olivia went over to him and gave him a small kiss on the lips.

" Love you." She told him.

" Love you too." He smiled. Olivia grabbed her gun, badge and keys and left.

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" Hey partner." Elliot said with that stupid grin of his. Olivia set her things on her desk.

" Hey. Missed me already?" She asked.

" These knuckle heads have been getting on my nerves, and Dani. Don't let me get started on her. We had to guide her by the hands on everything. Thankfully when you called in saying you wanted to come back, she transferred. It was a mess with out you, so yes, you can say I missed you." He finally finished. Olivia laughed. Just then, Munch and Fin came in. Fin came over to her and gave her a hug.

" Hey girl. How's it been? It has been a while since we have seen you and the family at the get together." Olivia agreed.

" I know. Everyone is doing good." She said. Munch then had to have his say in the situation. He came over to Olivia and gave her a hug.

" Now this is how you greet a lady when you haven't seen them in a long time." He looked at Fin and Elliot over his glasses.

They just rolled their eyes.

" Benson. In my office." Cragen poked his head out of his office. Olivia walked inside and closed the door behind her.

" Hey Captain." Olivia smiled.

" Hey Liv. Nice to see you again." He gave her a big hug. After he let her go, Olivia sat in the chair. " So how has it been these past couple of weeks?" He asked.

" Great. Things are settled at home. The girls are wonderful. Everything is going as expected." She let him know. Cragen nodded his head.

" Well, I'm glad. If you need anything, don't hesitate to tell me."

"Ok. I won't." Olivia said as she got back up. She was about to head out when Cragen stopped her.

" Oh, one more thing. You and Elliot have a case. Tell him to come here." He told her. Olivia went out and came back in with Elliot.

" Ok. I just told Olivia that you both have a case. The victim is a 15 year old girl named Shana. She was raped and is at the hospital. I want you, Olivia to talk to her and see if she can identify the man, and Elliot, I want to talk to the parents. Clear?" He asked. Both Elliot and Olivia nodded their heads and after Cragen gave them the papers, they left.

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Olivia walked over to the room that belonged to Shana. She knocked first. A soft spoken voice told her to come in. Olivia did so.

" Hi sweety. My name is Olivia. What's your name?" Olivia grabbed a chair and set it next to the bed. The girl hesitated.

" Shana Nicole." She looked down at her hands.

" That is a beautiful name. My little girl's middle name is Nicole. Her full name is Lilly Nicole. What does your name mean?" Olivia asked. She tried to get the girl to be comfortable around her.

" It means Beautiful." She said timidly.

" You are beautiful. You know that right?" She tried to instill in the girl that what happned to her was not her fault. Shana just shrugged.

" Why did this happen to me?" She asked. She finally looked Olivia in the eyes. Olivia's heart broke for the young girl.

" You know what? Although this may have happened to you, you will always be strong. You want to know why? Because no body has the power to over come us. And to tell you the truth, there are really bad people out there, but what happned to you is NOT your fault." She told the girl. Shana smiled.

" Thank you. You are a nice person."

" Don't thank me. You are one sweet girl." Olivia told her.

" So what's going to happen now?"

" Well, I have to get the description of the guy. Do you remember what the guy looked like?" Olivia pulled out her notebook. The girl nodded.

" Yeah. Um... I remember seeing he had a pair of black rimmed glasses. His eyes was blue...and he was really ugly and looked old." She said scrunching up her face. " I think he had light brownish hair. That's all I can remember."

" That's ok. Shana you have been a great help. I want you to know that everything is going to be ok. We are going to get this guy."

" Thanks. Bye Olivia."

" Well, Bye." Olivia waved and smiled. The girl returned it.

After she left the room, she saw Elliot finishing up his talk with the parents.

"...thank you for the information. We'll keep in touch." He told them. They nodded and went in the room to be with Shana.

" How did it go?" Olivia asked as they headed out into the squad car.

" It went good. Did you get the description of the perp?" He asked.

" Yeah. Poor girl. She is only fifteen. She did not deserve any of it. Nobody deserves it." She leaned her head against the head rest.

" Yeah. You are right." He put the car into drive.

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Olivia came home that night wanting mothing more than to see her husband and babies. She opened the door and was surprised to see it dark in there. The only lighting was the candles that was everywhere suggesting a romantic theme. Olivia smiled to herself and set her stuff down on the couch.

" Mark?" She called out. Mark came around the corner with a red rose in his hand. He gave her his big smile.

" Hey mama." He smiled again. Olivia laughed. She took the rose and kissed him.

" Thank you." She whispered. She hugged him. " You don't know how much I need this."

" My pleasure. I knew you would have a rough day. So I made us dinner and we can do whatever you want to do the rest of the night." He said. Right then, he started to cough. He weezed. Olivia rubbed his back.

" Are you ok?" She asked. She was getting worried when he would not stop coughing.

" I've been doing this all day, but then it stopped." He said as the coughing finally subsided.

" You sure you want to do this? We can just relax if you want." Olivia told him. Mark shook his head.

" I'm fine. I want to make this about you." He looked into her eyes.

" Oh, baby. You are couching and you are still thinking about me. You are so sweet." She smiled as she led him to the table where the food was already laid out. Just then, Olivia thought of the girls.

" Where are the girls?"

" I already gave them a bath and I fed them and put them to bed. They are asleep right now." He told her.

" Aw. Thank you." That was all she could say. Mark really was a good man.

" Ok. Let's eat." She said. As Mark was about to put some food in his mouth, he started the coughing again. That weezing sound was making Olivia more and more worried. Mark never had this much coughing that consisted before. Olivia got up and went by his side and patted his back until he stopped coughing. When he looked up at her, Olivia saw that his eyes was red.

" Baby. Maybe you need to go see the doctor. This is not normal." She told him. He again shook his head. Men.

" I'm fine, but maybe let's just lay down and rest. I'll put this stuff up later." He said as he got up. They went to their bed room and Mark layed down on his back. Olivia got on the bed right after him and laid her head on his chest.

" I love you, Mark." She told him. Man, did she love him so much.

" I love you too, baby." He kissed the top of her head.

As Mark was falling asleep, Olivia listened to his heart beat. She was thinking that if his weezing did not stop, she was taking him to the doctors' office. She wondered what was going on with him.

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**Thanks to all for waiting on my butt to update! Sorry for everything. Well, I hope you liked it!**


	9. Chapter 9

The next morning, Olivia woke up after not feeling her husband in the bed with her. She got up and searched for him when she heard him coughing in the bathroom. She lightly knocked.

" Honey? Are you ok?" She came in. Mark was on the edge of the bath. He looked up. His eyes was red again.

" I can't handle this anymore. I can't stop coughing." He shook his head. Olivia went over to him and helped him up.

" Come on. Let's go to the doctor's office." She led him out the bathroom and then went to her drawer and got out something to wear. After both was dressed, they went out the door.

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"Mark Johnson?" A nurse came out and said. Olivia and Mark both got up. The nurse smiled and led them to a room with a chair for the doctor, a chair for Olivia and a bed/table for Mark. Mark got right on it. After a few minutes of them talking, the doctor came in. He was a short stocky man with almost no hair.

" Hi. I'm Dr. Peabody. You must be his wife." He shook hands with Olivia, and shook Mark's hand. " Tell me what's wrong." He told Mark.

" Well, I am having this constant coughing and it has been going on since yesterday, and it won't stop today. It hurts though sometimes." Mark said before he began his coughing fits again. Dr. Peabody only nodded and looked the clipboard in front of him.

" Well, let's take a look. OK?" He told Mark as he got out his stethoscope. He told Mark to breath in and out. Mark did so. After a couple of minutes of testing, Dr. Peabody went back to his clipboard. He looked back up.

" Well?" Olivia asked.

**Sorry for the short chpt., but don't hate on me yet cause there will be a part 2!**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: In this chapter, you are going to be begging me for more! Mwahahaha!**

**Chapter 9: Secrets**

_Previously_

_" Well, let's take a look. OK?" He told Mark as he got out his stethoscope. He told Mark to breath in and out. Mark did so. After a couple of minutes of testing, Dr. Peabody went back to his clipboard. He looked back up._

_" Well?" Olivia asked._

_--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

" He has asthma. I see this all the time. Now this can be caused by the air, or many other stuff. Have you been anywhere different lately?"

" I was in Iraq a couple of months ago. And to think about it, I was coughing there alot, but when I got home, it seemed like it went away until these past couple of days."

" Well, your type of asthma isn't that bad as you both may think, but I still want you to not do too much strenuous activity. Too much running, anything that will make you feel like wheezing. Maybe after a while you can do it when I prescribe this inhaler that will help, but don't do it for at least a month. Anytime you need to use this, use it. Don't wait till you are in deep waters, cause then you will need to come here. Now, this is the prescription I told you about. And don't forget what I said." He told them as Olivia and Mark got up.

" Thanks Dr." Olivia shook his hand one more time. Mark did too.

" Yeah thanks."

" You're welcome. It's your job Mrs. Johnson to make sure he does what he is supposed to." He told her. Olivia smiled and nodded her head. Both went out the door after checking out.

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" So he left you in charge huh?" Mark asked as he grinned.

" Yes. So you must do as I say. No ands or buts. You hear?"

" Yes ma'am!" He saluted her. Olivia laughed and just pushed him inside their house. The girls was at Mark's mom's house, so they had the house to each other for a couple of hours.

" So what do we do..." Olivia said as her phone rang. She answered it. Mark just rolled his eyes but stopped when Olivia gave him the evil eye.

" Hello?"

" Hello Olivia. This is Andrew Hamott. Do you remember me? You put me in jail years ago and now I'm back." Olivia could hear his voice turn into a wicked grin. She shuddered at the thought. She put him in jail years ago and she always felt like he was still watching her. He always got under her skin. She was about to say something to Mark, but he spoke again.

" Nope. You don't want to do that. Now you see, I have a trained sniper aimed at your husband and I have another sniper at his mother's house. Just look at his puzzled face. Adorable. Now don't say a word. Just say... I have to go to work. You can do that, can't you?"

" Yeah." She said as she gulped. She saw a red dot on Mark's chest. She didn't want her husband or her kids to be hurt in any way.

" Say one word out of text, and I will have your husband shot first."

" Honey. I have to go to work." She said as she gave him a hug and a long kiss. He gave her a puzzled look.

" We just got home. Why?" He asked her. Olivia just squeezed his hand and went out of the apartment. She didn't want to say anything that might jeopardize her family's safety.

" Good girl. Now go to your car. I want you to go where I tell you to. No place else. I see you turn the wrong way, your husband will be shot." He said evilly. Olivia started her car and got out of her driveway. " I want you to keep going straight until you see that third turn." He ordered. Olivia did as she was told until she saw this empty parking lot. She stopped.

" I did what you said, now leave my husband and kids alone!" She yelled into the phone.

" You see, Olivia, you don't tell me what to do. Now get out of the car." He told her. Olivia took a deep breath and got out of the car. Before she knew it, someone from behind put a chloroform cloth over her mouth. She tried to fight off, but it was no use. She passed out.

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" Liv. Where were you?" Mark asked. Olivia looked at him weirdly.

" Huh? I was here all the time." She looked up at him. He smiled and kissed her. Olivia smiled too as she accepted his kiss. All of a sudden, he broke the kiss and kept saying her name.

" Olivia?...Olivia?..." She opened her eyes and saw that she was not in her house and she was definitely not near Mark. He was no where to be seen. The only person she saw was Andrew. He haven't changed all these years. Olivia first saw him a week into her first working at SVU in 1999, and it was now 2008. She was scared of him and for very good reasons. He was in for kidnaping and raping women. He sometimes held them for hours or days. The longest he held a woman was a week and a half. All of the women were tortured but never killed.

" Get me out of here!" Olivia yelled even though she knew it would not work. Both her hands and feet were tied up. She couldn't run.

" Nice to see you awake my love." He snickered. Olivia spat in his face.

" Fuck you."

Andrew got mad and wiped his face before he smacked her in the face.

" That's my warning bitch. Don't make me mad again." He went to the door.

" What do you want with me?" She asked. Her lip was already bleeding.

" I loved you ever since I saw you, but of course you was dating that scumbag. He doesn't care about you like I do. But you wouldn't know that because you locked me up!" He said getting heated up.

" So this is about revenge?"

" This is about us being together. I wouldn't have you tied up on this bed, but you are very feisty and you would have bolted. I can't have that." He shook his head.

" I don't want to be with you! Not after what happened. You rape and torture women! You are the scumbag!" She yelled trying to get her wrists out of bondage.

Andrew laughed. " Forget it, Olivia. You aren't getting out of here...you know what? I'll let you out, but if you try to run, we both know that all I have to do is say the word and they can start shooting either house. You don't want that, do you?" He asked as he untied her hands and feet. Olivia immediately rubbed her hands cause they was sore. She shook her head.

" Good. I'm going to go, but when I come back, I want you to have these on...I always liked you better in a dress." He told her and pointed to a red, low V-neck, knee length dress. Olivia shook her head again. She would have worn it for Mark, but not for any other maniac scumbag. Andrew quickly walked over to her and grabbed her neck and squeezed as he backed her against the wall.

" I want you in that dress. And don't disobey me again. You understand me? I am tired of giving warnings." He let go of her neck and walked out. Olivia nelt by the wall and gasped for breath.

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4 hours later

Mark walked in the precinct wanting to see how his wife was doing. He was a little confused as to why she left with out saying much. He saw Elliot, Munch and Fin at their respective desks working on their reports. It seemed like a slow day.

" Hey Mark. What you doing here?" Elliot asked.

" The government ran you out of the house?" Munch asked looking over his glasses. Fin rolled his eyes.

" Haha, but no. I came to see Olivia." He said looking around. The guys looked at him like he was crazy.

" Was she not with you?" Elliot asked. Now it was Mark's turn to look at the guys like they were crazy.

" She told me she had to go to work. It is not like her to go somewhere with out letting me know."

" Was she on the phone when she told you that?" Fin asked this time.

" Yeah. She looked almost horrified."

" Oh god. Guys, I need to talk to you." Elliot said as he motioned to Fin and Munch. " Mark, we'll be right back." He told Mark as the guys went to Cragen's office.

" This can't be good. Ya'll here to gang up on me?" Cragen joked, but his smile faded when he saw that the situation was serious.

" It's about Liv, Captain. I think she was kidnaped." Elliot said with all seriousness.

" This is not a joke. How do you know this?" Cragen asked. He didn't like it if anything happened to Olivia. He was very protective over her.

" Well, Mark came over here to check up on her, but we never called her in. And then it hit me that we received a warning about Andrew Hamott's escape from Rikers a couple of days ago. Every station is looking for him. I never thought he would be stupid enough to come after Olivia after what happened. He knows we are going to be looking for him. Why take that chance?" He said. All the guys nodded their heads. They remembered what happened to Olivia.

" Ok. So we have to let all the stations know the situation. We want manpower canvassing the city. What ever it takes. In the mean time, give Mark the basics, but don't tell him what happened. He doesn't know. I don't think Olivia ever told him."

" Ok." They all agreed and left the office.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews and I want a lot of them before I post another page, so you know the drill. Thanks to Enforcer and Accuser fan for all the tips and everything, and thanks to everyone that has stuck with this story. Never thought a lot of people would like this story...well, read the story!!!!! haha:)**

**Chapter 11: Memories**

Olivia sat on the bed with the dress on that was put out for her. She didn't want any of this, but she knew her family could be in danger if she didn't cooperate with Andrew. She laid her head down on her hands. She missed Mark and her babies already. She hoped Mark found out she was missing, but at the same time, she hoped the guys didn't tell him about what happened. She tried to keep that secret from Mark for years.

Just than, Andrew came in. " Hello, Olivia. Nice to see you in the dress I picked out for you. I knew you would look hot in it." She snickered as he walked over to her. His hand reached out to touch Olivia's leg, but Olivia slapped it away.

" Get the hell away from me." She sneered. She meant it too.

" Play nice, Detective Benson." He told her.

" Go to hell." She spat at him. Andrew wiped his face and pushed her on the bed.

" You don't want to mess with me sweetheart. Remember last time?" He grinned evilly. Olivia froze. She didn't want this to happen again.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

" But why?" Mark asked.

" We don't know, but we will try our best to get Liv back. You know that we all care so much about her." Fin told him.

" I know." Mark nodded. To Olivia, the guys were like her brothers. She even told Mark when they were dating. Mark missed Olivia already.

_Flashback_

" _Remember when I had you meet the guys for the first time?" Olivia asked. She and Mark was on her bed facing each other and lacing their hands together. Mark smiled and nodded his head._

" _Yeah. They gave me a hard time. I don't think there was a time were I was so nervous until that day. They really put me under the fire." He chuckled. Olivia laughed._

" _They are like brothers to me. When I first came into the precinct, I was searching for a family, stability, and a reason as to why I was put here on earth. My mom was raped and then I was born. She cared for me, but it seemed as if she couldn't really look me in the eye because of what I reminded her of. And then I started working at the Special Victims Unit. They were really nice and accepted me for who I was. So you went under the fire for a good cause." She smiled. Mark kissed the tip of her nose._

" _I know I did, and I would do it all over again just for you."_

_Olivia looked at the time. It was 11:16pm._

" _You have to leave. Tomorrow is the big day." She said. Their wedding was going to be the next day on a Saturday. Mark agreed._

" _Yeah. Well bride-to-be, I'll go and let you have this bed all to yourself, but be prepared to share it tomorrow night." He said and winked. Olivia kissed him one last time on the lips and Mark left. Olivia smiled to herself. She was finally going to get married to the man of her dreams._

_Next day_

" _Olivia, you look so beautiful." Casey commented. Olivia smiled. She had on a long white, strapless gown. The first time she saw the dress, she knew she had to have it. Of course she was worried about the price, but Mark told her that she could get whatever dress she wanted. That was why she loved him so much. He would put others before himself._

" _Thanks, Case." She said as she put on her make-up and then her little tiara. Melinda came around the corner and gasped when she saw Olivia all done up. _

" _Girl, you are going to knock him dead before you get up there." _

" _I'm so nervous." Olivia finally said. She looked at herself in the mirror._

" _Are you getting cold feet?" Casey asked. Olivia shook her head._

" _No."_

" _Then, just think about you and him at the end of the day in each others arms forever." Casey looked into the mirror and just stared at herself. Olivia noticed this and so did Melinda. Melinda walked over to the side of Olivia that Casey wasn't at and whispered into Olivia's ear._

" _Too many romance novels mixed with the lack of being laid." She joked. Olivia laughed._

" _Yeah...Casey. Come on. Let's go cause I don't think I can stare at myself much longer." Olivia touched Casey's shoulder. Casey looked at Olivia._

" _Ok. Sorry about that." Casey blushed. Just then, there was a knock at the door._

" _Come in!" Melinda said. The door opened and Cragen stood at the door._

" _I came to give away the bride." He held out his arm. Olivia smiled and looped her arm through his. Melinda and Casey went out and then Olivia and Cragen went out right after._

_The wedding song had already started and Mark's nieces went down the aisle as the flower girls. Next went Fin and Melinda and Casey and John. Finally, it was Olivia's time to shine. She smiled one last time at the man who helped her all those years and made her feel like family. Cragen led Olivia out the door into the big yard. It was beautiful. The yard was decorated with chairs and a long pink carpet to the alter. Flower petals were everywhere do to the flower girls. Plus it was sunny, but cool, so it was just perfect. When they made it down the aisle, Cragen kissed her forehead and then went to his seat._

" _We are gathered here today to join these two love birds together in holy matrimony." He began. Mark and Olivia looked at each other. They were really in love. A tear went down Olivia's face. She thanked the lord that there was such a thing as water proof mascara. Mark gently wiped away her tears. She smiled at him._

" _Does anyone have a reason as to why these two should not be married? Speak up now or forever hold your peace." He said loudly to where everyone could hear. It was quiet until they heard the birds chirp._

" _Ok. I have hear that they want to say their vows to one another." He looked at Mark and Olivia. Mark spoke up first. He cleared his voice._

" _Olivia. Before we met, I was not afraid of anything. I could take chances, make some dumb ass mistakes and live life without thinking of the consequences. That was before. Now, when I am with you, I am afraid. I am afraid of the dumb ass mistakes that could hurt me or worse yet, you. You have no clue as to how much you mean to me and how much I love you. With out you, I am hopeless. With out you, I am not myself. Olivia, you are my better half. I love you with everything I have. My heart, my soul, my mind. Everything. I want to be with you for the rest of my life. I want us to grow old together. Olivia, baby, I promise to always be true, to love you for infinity, and to make you happy for the rest of my life. I love you." He said. By now, he had a tear rolling freely down his face._

" _Wow...um...Mark. I love you so much. I was so afraid of saying those words to any guy, but you have taught me that it is ok to love, and that there is a man out there for me, but luckily, I found you. You have been so good to me through out this past year and when we were dating. I gave you my heart, which is so hard for me to give out. Especially when I was hurt so many times. _

_You never raised a hand to me, and you never did anything to make me regret what we have. Mark, you are so true to me. When we first met, I thought you were this cheep shot guy with a rose. You have so proved me wrong. No guy has treated me as good as you have._

_Baby, when I look into your eyes, I get lost in them. I am completely head over heals in love with you Mark Johnson, and I never thought I would be saying that to a man I will have the privilege of calling my husband. I promise to love you, honor and obey you for the rest of my life. I love you so damn much." She emphasized the last part._

" _Do we have the rings?" The pastor asked. Casey and Fin stepped up and gave the couple the rings._

_Olivia took the ring Casey handed her._

" _Olivia, repeat after me. With this ring, I thee wed." _

" _With this ring, I thee wed." She slid the ring on Mark's finger. Mark did the same._

" _With this ring, I thee wed." Mark said. The couple smiled at each other. The pastor looked up._

" _It is now my honor to now pronounce them husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride." _

_Mark gladly obeyed the command and kissed his now wife. Everyone clapped._

" Please stop! No!" Olivia screamed. Andrew was pushing inside her very hard. She couldn't do much because he tied her up to the bed again. Andrew wouldn't stop.

" Olivia, you have to understand. We belong together. I am making you mine." He grunted. He attempted to kiss Olivia on the lips, but Olivia purposely butted her head against his hard. Andrew got off and held his head. Once he was seeing ok, he punched Olivia hard in the stomach. He took out a portable radio and spoke into it.

" Take one of the kids. As a matter of fact, take Lilly." He grinned. Olivia froze in shock. She began moving fast.

" No! Please! I'm sorry. Just don't hurt my baby. I'll do what ever you want." She finally said. Andrew looked at her. He held up his radio.

" Never mind, don't take Lilly." He told the guy on the other end. He looked back at Olivia. " Don't underestimate me, Olivia. She's not my child, so it's not my problem if she is hurt. Just remember this, what ever you do affects your family, so I advise you to do as I say." He walked over to her once again. Olivia nodded her head.

" Ok." She told him. She knew she had no way out of this. This was truly her worst nightmare.


	12. Reality

**Chapter 12: reality**

8 hours later

Mark was pacing around the squad room just wondering if Olivia was ok. Was she hurt? Was she just walking around for no reason? He had no clue and that was driving him nuts. Mark had left the girls at his mom's house because he didn't want them to worry about her.

" Mark, why don't you go see the girls for a while. Just as soon as we get anything, you will be the first call." Cragen told the frantic husband. Mark shook his head.

" Lilly and Maria will be ok. I don't want to start answering questions just yet." Mark said while still pacing in a line. Cragen put a hand on his shoulder. Mark finally stopped and looked up at Cragen.

" Then just sit down. Mark, we WILL find her. I promise you, ok?" Mark nodded his head and sat down at Olivia's desk. Cragen went back into his office to make some calls. Mark looked on the desk and saw a couple of pictures of them on their wedding day and another picture of Olivia holding Maria and Lilly. She was beaming with happiness. Mark smiled. Just then, Fin came in with Elliot and Munch following him. They went to Cragen's office.

" You have something?" Cragen asked. The guys nodded.

" You bet. We have a witness who saw a dark blue van come from a parking lot not far from Mark and Olivia's house. They heard a woman's voice screaming something and then there was silence."

" Did they get the licence plate number?" Cragen asked.

" Yeah." Munch gave Captain the paper with the numbers on it.

" Ok. I will call a friend so he can run this plate though fast." He told them. The guys nodded and went back out.

* * *

Olivia just closed her eyes as she was raped again. She thought if she didn't acknowledge what was happening, then she wasn't in any pain. Boy was she wrong. Andrew kept on panting above her as he came to his release. He got off her. Olivia silently thanked the lord. She was really sore and knew she was bleeding.

" You did good, Olivia. Best sex I ever had." He snickered. Olivia just looked away. She was not going to say anything.

" Well, I'll be back to get you some food." Andrew said and left. Once Olivia knew she was alone, she broke down. She didn't know what to do. Just as that thought came into her mind, another came in.

'_Why am I letting this scumbag get to me?'_ She thought. _' I have to get out of here.'_ Olivia tried to wiggle her hands out of bondage. She almost got one hand out when Andrew came back in. Olivia hid her hands behind her in the shadow.

" I got you food." He went over to her to let her out, but Olivia stopped him.

" I'm not hungry." She told him. Andrew just ignored her and went to untie her hands. That was when he saw her hands almost out of the tape. He realized she was trying to escape.

" Trying to get away from me, Olivia?" He said, suddenly getting mad.

" N-No..." Olivia didn't even get to finish her sentence before he smacked her across the face.

" You don't EVER try to get away, you understand?

" Yeah." She winced in pain.

" Good thing you aren't hungry cause you are not having anything." He said angrily before walking out. Olivia let out a big breath and just continued to try to get out of bondage. She successfully got her hands out but she had to get her feet out. Once she did, she tried to get up and walk, but it hurt so much. She decided to crawl on the floor to find a way out, but there was nothing except for the front door, but she couldn't take the chance to get caught. She was about to get back to her bed when Andrew came back in. He saw her almost to the bed. He went ballistic.

He ran over to her and grabbed her hair and pulled it back." Bitch!" He seethed.

" Ouch! Stop it!" She screamed. He pushed her to the ground and punched her square in the jaw and Olivia knew right then that it was broken. She cried in pain.

" I will teach you to never try to run." He said angrily in her ear before he punched her more in her face. Olivia began to see darkness.

* * *

" Ok. We have where he is. We are sending cars over there now. I want you all to go over there too. I will keep Mark here." Cragen told them after hours of searching, they had a hit on the license. They knew it was Andrew, so they just had to find out where he was. It was partly easy because of where he held all of his victims.

" Yes, sir." They all said before they left. Just as they did, Mark came in.

" Do you have anything on Olivia?" He asked.

" The guys are going to get her." Cragen said looking up from his work.

" Well, I'm going to go too." He said before turning around. Cragen stopped him.

" Don't go. When I have the word that we have the guy, you can go to the hospital, but you have to remember the kids."

Mark sighed. He rubbed his temple. " Yeah. You are right." He said before going out the door.

* * *

" Come back here." Andrew commanded the guy who was the sniper at Mark's mom's house.

" _Yes, sir." He replied._

Andrew looked at the unconscious Olivia beside him. He didn't want to do that, but she left him no choice.She tried to run, so he had to teach her. Just like he taught the other women.

Just as he was about to lay her back on the make shift bed, the door was busted open. The police found them, but he didn't see how. He chose a place he thought no one would be able to find. He was wrong.

" Police! Put your hands up where we can see them ! NOW!!" Elliot barked. He was pissed. No, beyond pissed. Andrew knew he had no other place to run to, so he surrendered.He gently placed Olivia back on the floor, and put his hands in the air. Two cops came over to him and roughly pulled his hands behind his back before they cuffed him.They took him outside and put him in the marked car. Just as they shut the door, they saw a man walk by and look at the building and stop, but when he saw the police there, he kept on walking, except this time walking fast. Fin and Munch saw this and started to run after the guy. The man ran faster, but Fin caught up with him and tackled him down.

" Stupid ass." Fin told him. With Munch's help, they got him back to the car and put him in there.

Meanwhile, Elliot ran over to Olivia and picked her up. He got out of the building and handed her to the paramedic near him.

" It's going to be ok, Liv. Just hang on." He whispered, hoping she could hear him. " I want to ride with her." He told the paramedic.

The paramedic nodded. Elliot got in the back with Olivia and held her hand. He was really mad that this happened to the one person who helped him through everything. Not only that, but she was like his sister.

Once they was there, Olivia was rolled into the building and straight to the operating room. Mark was there in the waiting room looking for Olivia. Elliot went to him and sat by him.

" How is she?" He asked worried.

" Not good. She was unconscious when we got there. Our perp really beat her." Elliot said sadly. He hated that he was telling his best friend's husband the horrible news.

" I wish I talked her out of going to work. This would have never happened."

" You never would have known that. All you can do now is be there for her." Elliot told him. Mark nodded.

* * *

It was 4 o' clock in the morning when a doctor came out. Elliot was asleep, but Mark was looking at the ceiling absently. He noticed the doctor and went over to him. That was when Elliot woke up. He looked over at Mark and the doctor. He decided to give them privacy.

" I'm Dr. Hill. Are you Olivia's husband?"

" Yes."

" Well, we just got done with her surgery. She had a broken jaw, and a lot of bruises on her face, neck and stomach. I'm very sorry about what happened." The doctor told him. Mark bit his lip and nodded.

" Can I go see her?"

" Yes. She is conscious now, but a little groggy from the anesthesia. Room 117." He told him. Mark thanked him and went where the doctor told him to go.

Once at the designated room, Mark held his breath and walked in. He was shocked by her appearance. She looked so small in that bed. He walked over to the side of the bed and grabbed a chair before sitting in it. He grabbed the hand that was not stuck with a needle. Olivia flinched a little.

" Baby, it's me." Mark told her soothingly. Olivia opened her eyes a little. Tears sprung to her eyes as soon as she saw it was her husband.

" M-Mark..." She tried to say, but her jaw hurt too much.

" Ssshhh. It's ok. I'm here."

" Girls..."

" They are fine. They are at my mom's house." He rubbed her hand with his thumb.

" S-Sniper. M-Mom's house. You...girls, d-danger." She tried to tell him that they were in danger. She didn't know that Munch and Fin caught the sniper.

" Hold on. I'll be right back, ok?" He kissed her hand. Olivia nodded.

Mark went out and called Cragen.

" Cragen."

" Don, it's me. Olivia was trying to tell me that me and the girls are in danger. She said something about a sniper."

" Yeah. We didn't know that Andrew had a sniper, but we have both of them in custody. So don't worry. Good thing we got to them in time."

" Ok, thanks." Mark said before hanging up. He went back into Olivia's room. She fell asleep. Mark went over to her and kissed her head before going back out. He found Elliot in a chair looking at everyone passing by. Mark sat by him.

" Is she ok?" Elliot asked.

" I was not prepared for what I saw. She was beaten really bad." He put his head in his hands. Elliot gave his shoulder a quick squeeze.

" She is a fighter. She will get through this." Elliot said reassuringly. Mark knew he was right.


	13. The Secret Told

**A/N: Hey! Another chapter hooray!! Well, I hope you all have a great spring break if you have not already had it.**

**Chapter 13: The secret told**

It had been one month since Olivia's attack. She healed rather quickly, and she was so glad about that. Andrew was sentenced to life without parol. Olivia had to testify, but to her amazement, the trail went really smooth. After the trail, they went to celebrate and that was when Cragen told her she could have as much time as she needed to collect herself. Of course, Olivia Benson had to go back to work. She couldn't stay too far from the only work she has known.

" Olivia, why don't we go to the park? Take the kids with us and just enjoy outside?" Mark suggested.

" I would love that. You want to go right now?" She asked looking up from the tiny bit of paperwork she was doing. It wasn't that big, that was why she agreed to the idea.

" Yeah. Maria and Lilly have been asking to go somewhere."

" Ok. Just let me get my jacket and we can leave. Get the girls." Olivia told him as she got up. Minutes later, they were out of the door on their way to the park that was 5 minutes away. 

Once there, Olivia and Mark found a spot to sit, which was under a tree. " You can go play, but don't go to far. Just where we can see you." Olivia told them. Lilly, being the oldest nodded her head.

" Ok, mommy." She led her little sister not far away. Olivia smiled.

" Just when I never thought I would see them again...or even you for that fact." Olivia whispered. Mark squeezed her arm.

" Well, you made it. That's the only thing that counts." He told her. Olivia nodded. They sat in the shade watching Maria and Lilly play for a while before Mark spoke again. " You know, I didn't want to ask you this earlier, but I think this is a good time." He said as he took her hand. He looked her in her eyes.

" What is it?" Olivia bit her lip, hoping he wasn't going to ask what she thought he was.

" Well, I over heard the guys talking a couple of weeks ago, and they said something about you haven't told me something. Does it have to do with what happened?" He asked sort of scared about the answer that was about to come.

" Sort of..." Olivia sighed. She was hoping she never had to tell him, but now that he asked, she couldn't lie to him like that. He deserved to know. " Back in 1999, when I first started working here, I had a case about a week into this job. It was Andrew, who was charged with kidnaping and rape. I helped charged him, and I guess that was why he had a grudge against me...but it was bad, Mark. He beat the women badly, and then left them in shambles, but he always had a sick way that I never understood. Well, anyways, not long after he was put in jail, he escaped. Some how, he knew where I was. Since we was only dating at the time, of course I had my own apartment. It was at night when I was doing laundry. I didn't hear the door open, so when I felt a hand go over my mouth, I was surprised..." Olivia took a break. She had a tear go down her face. Mark wiped it for her. He wrapped her in a hug. 

" It's ok, Liv. You don't have to tell me all of it." He comforted her. Olivia shook her head.

" No, I want to tell you the rest. Andrew dragged me to my bedroom. He had on a evil grin that scared me. I have never been so scared in my entire life, so I did the only thing I could do. And that was fight. I fought as hard as I could, but he was too strong for me. I hated being the week one, Mark. Coming into this job, it makes you feel like the stronger person. You can help people and be strong, you can do so many things and be strong, but that was taken from me...after he was done with me, he made me wash myself so I couldn't point to him. After he left, I cried for so long...I think after about an hour, that was when I think you called me. I didn't want you to get worried, so that was why I never told you." She looked him in the eyes.

" But we were dating, I had a right to worry. I never wanted anything to happen to you." He whispered.

" I know, but can you understand my position?"

" Yeah...it's just hard to believe." He told her as they layed back down on the blanket. Maria and Lilly were still playing. Olivia looked back at Mark. She had to tell him the other part of her secret.

" Baby, there was one other thing I have to tell you. I hate that I kept it from you so long and I hope you can forgive me for it." She took a deep breath. Mark gave her a puzzled look.

" What is it?" He actually didn't want to know for fear it would break them apart. He saw a tear go down her face.

" A month after the rape, I...I missed my period. And you know we didn't even begin to think about sex in our early stage of dating. So for that reason, I was really scared. I went to my doctor and got it confirmed. He told me I was pregnant. Mark, I never was so scared in my entire life. I was about to have my rapists baby, and I couldn't be like my mother cause you know how that went. I had so many questions about my abilities to be a parent. That's when I decided to have-"

" An abortion." Mark said as a matter of fact. He said it like he didn't even know what they were talking about. He got up. Olivia did too.

" I'm so sorry, but what was I supposed to do?" She started crying.

" You could heave kept it! I would have helped!" He yelled but not too loudly where the girls or anyone else could hear them. " Olivia, you should have told me."

" But it was my body, and I was just confused then! If it was your baby, I would have kept it, but I was having Andrew's baby...I thought you would have understand." She said as she quickly wiped her tears and got up. She walked away. Mark shook his head and got the girls.

" Come on, let's go home." He held both of their hands. Maria looked at her father.

" Why is mommy crying?" She asked.

" Yeah...why is mommy sad?" Lilly asked. Mark sighed.

" You will understand when you are older." He told them. One thing he learned from when he was younger was never get your kids in adult crap. His mother did a lot of that to him and it messed him up.

" You always say that daddy." Lilly reminded him. He had to laugh at that. She definitely was like him.

" I know, but when you are ready, I'll tell you." He told her in a way to ward off any more questions on that subject. They caught up with Olivia at the car. She was just sitting in the front seat looking at nothing. He got in the drivers side and started the car after the girls had their seat belts on. Olivia was being stubborn by not speaking to him. She only did that when she was really mad at him. She kept quiet on their way home. When they got to their house, Olivia got out. Maria ran to her.

" Mommy." She held her arms out to be picked up. Olivia smiled. She picked her up in her arms. " Don't be sad mommy."

" I'm not sad baby." She kissed Maria's cheek.

" But you are cause you have tear." She said as he wiped away the tear on Olivia's cheek. Olivia opened to the door to the house and walked in.

" That's my jr. detective." Olivia tried to be cheerful. Maria giggled. Olivia let her down and she and Lilly went to their room to play some more. Olivia went to her and Mark's shared bedroom. She closed the door and went to lay on the bed. Minutes later, Mark came in. He closed the door right back as he went over to Olivia's side of the bed. She turned her head to where she wasn't facing him. Mark sighed.

" Liv, I'm sorry for yelling at you in the park." He told her. Olivia finally let herself look at him.

" Can you imagine how I felt?" She asked as she freely let tears run down her face again. Mark wrapped her in his arms. She rested her head on his shoulder.

" I can never imagine how you felt, and I was just a little upset because you never gave me a chance to help us get through it." He gently told her.

" I'm sorry." She whispered.

" I forgive you, and I'm really sorry too." He rubbed circles on her back.

" It's ok. I love you." She kissed him. He kissed her back.

" I love you too." He smiled. " We'll get through this together as a family." He promised her. 

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews before, and I hope I get plenty more:) You all rock!!**


	14. Birthday Girl!

**Chapter 14: Birthday Girl**

Life was going ok for Olivia so far. Every now and then, though, she would have nightmares of when she was raped and she would wake up in cold sweat. Tonight was no different. Olivia sprang up in bed crying. Mark woke up and sat up straight to comfort his wife. He rubbed her back and held her.

" Shhh. It's ok. You are going to be ok." He soothed into her ear. Olivia calmed down a little bit.

" It was so real..." She cried some more but then she abruptly stopped. " I am a detective damn it! I shouldn't cry." She got mad at herself.

" Honey, you may be a detective, but you are human, and we all cry sometime." He told her. She nodded.

" Yeah, you are right. I just want this nightmare to be over with." She sighed. Mark brung her back to lay her head on his chest.

" Let's just go to sleep. In the morning, it will be better. I promise." He told her.

" Ok." She said before sleep overtook her for the second time.

* * *

In the morning, Mark woke up to little tapping on the door. He then heard whispers. He knew it was Maria and Lilly. He quietly pulled Olivia's arm from around his waist and went to the door. The 2 year old girls looked at him.

" You wanted to wake up mommy for her birthday?" He asked them. They nodded as they smiled.

" Ok. Just don't wake her up before you get on the bed, so you have to tip toe, ok?" He told them in a whispered tone. Maria and Lilly nodded. They did as they were told, but when they got on the bed, they started jumping on it.

" Mommy! up, up, up!!" They said excitedly. Olivia groaned and looked at the little girls who was jumping on the bed. She shook her head.

" Girls, you know you aren't supposed to jump on the bed." She grabbed them into her arms. they hugged her.

" But mommy, we 'posed to. It's your bathday!" Maria told her. Olivia laid her head back onto the pillow. She told totally forgot. She was so wrapped up with what happened that she forgot it.

" Sweety, it's birthday, and thank you for waking me up." She smiled at them.

" Luve you mommy." Lilly told her.

" Love you too, sweetcakes. Me and daddy are going to take for a second...we will be right there ok?" She told them. They nodded and went out to give their parents time to talk. When the door was closed, Mark went over to Olivia.

" I totally forgot my birthday." She told him. He just smiled.

" It's ok. Just means you are going to be an hot old lady." He teased. Olivia playfully smacked him on the chest.

" Meany. It's my birthday. You are supposed to treat me like a princess." She said dramatically. Mark laughed.

" You are right, but today, I'm going to treat you like a queen, but first, you have to go to work." He told her as he looked at the time. She had a hour to get ready. She groaned.

" You are right. Ok." She said as she got out of bed and went towards the shower. Mark shook his head.

" I'm coming in too." He told her seductively. Olivia laughed. It was her time to shake her head.

" It's going to take too long and I will be late." She shook her head.

" I can do it quick. I am good at quickies. Besides, this is only a portion of your birthday present." He wiggled his eyebrow. Olivia laughed.

" Ok, Mr. Quickie. Follow me." She smiled as she shut the door to the bathroom.

* * *

Thirty minutes later, Mark and Olivia came out. Olivia had only her towel covering her, Mark did too.

" Thank you for the...rather huge present." She said looking him over again. Mark blushed.

" You are welcome." He smiled as he gave her another kiss. Olivia broke it and went over to her closet and got out her work clothes. She quickly put it on as Mark watched her. She noticed, but didn't say anything. She knew he liked to watch her dress and undress.

Once Olivia was done, she grabbed her badge, gun and keys. Olivia walked over to Mark and gave him a long kiss.

" Love you." He told her. She smiled.

" Love you too. See you tonight hopefully." She said as she went out their bedroom. She then went to find Maria and Lilly. They was in their bedroom. She walked in.

" Hey my beautiful angels. Come give mommy a kiss before she leaves for work?" She squatted down. They ran over to her and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

" Luve you." Lilly told her.

" Luve you too, mommy." Maria added.

" I love you both. Be good for daddy, ok?"

" Ok." They said in unison. Olivia smiled and went out. She got her coat off the hanger and went out the door.

* * *

" Happy Birthday, Liv." Elliot told her as he gave her a hug.

" Yeah, happy birthday." Fin also gave her a hug. Munch got up from his desk and gave her a hug.

" Don't eat the cake...I didn't get the cake, so don't eat it." He whispered into her ear. Olivia laughed.

" Is it about the government?" She continued laughing.

" What if it is?...Fine, don't believe me, but I know these things. Don't get me started about the cake poisonings that are really supposed to get in your head to control your every day life." He told her.

" Munch, shut up." Fin, Elliot and Cragen said together. Munch raised his arms up in defeat.

" I tried." He shook his head. Cragen walked over to Olivia and gave her a hug.

" Happy birthday." He told her.

" Thanks." Olivia told him.

" Ok, everyone. Back to work. We don't have any field cases yet, so just finish whatever you may have not finished lately. Olivia sighed in relief.

* * *

By 8 pm, that night, Olivia was still working on her reports and she was really tired. She could barely hold her head up. Elliot noticed this.

" You want me to help you?" He asked. Olivia shook her head.

" No, it's ok. Are you done with your stuff?" She asked.

" Well, I have to type up my statement for court. You know that Gitano case." He told her. Olivia nodded, but she didn't like to be reminded of that part.

" I know. It is hard to think about that. I hated being in that position. And then when I went to computer crimes, I felt as if I could not really trust any one. You are really the only person besides Mark that I trust with my life."

" Thanks...and don't worry about you not being able to shoot. I still trust you with my life." He smiled. Olivia smiled too.

" You are a great friend." Olivia told him.

" You know it." He grinned. Just then, they heard the door to the precinct open. It was Mark holding Maria and Lilly.

Olivia smiled. " Hey. What brings yall here?" She asked. Mark put the girls down and they ran over to Munch and Fin. Munch gave them a piece of candy each and Fin gave them a toy he bought. He saw it and just thought of the girls.

" Well, the girls wanted to see the guys and I wanted to see you." He whispered the last part in her ear. Olivia smirked.

" Well, I'm glad you all came because I am tired and I need to go home." She told him She looked at Cragen's office. As if he could sense it, Cragen stepped out of his office.

" Benson, go home...you can finish the work tomorrow. Have a great night." He told her. Olivia smiled and turned to look at the girls.

" Thank you Munchie." Maria and Lilly both said. Fin looked hurt.

" I don't get a thank you? I'm hurt." He said playfully. Maria and Lilly went over to him and gave him a hug. Fin smirked at Munch. Munch just rolled his eyes.

" Show off." He muttered under his breath.

Olivia laughed. " Girls, come on, let's go home." She told them. They skipped over to their parents.

" Bye guys." Olivia waved to them.

" Bye." They all said.

**A/N: Hope this chapter make you all wanting more! And don't worry, there will be more. The next chapter will be based mainly on Olivia's birthday. One more thing... I have the next story ready, just need to post it. The story will be called " Light after Dark".**


	15. Olivia's birthday part 2

Chapter 15 : Olivia's Birthday part 2

" I'm sorry I worked late...I really wanted to spend tonight with you guys." Olivia apologized to her husband. Mark shook his head as they walked in the house. Maria and Lilly went into the kitchen.

" Don't apologize. It's ok. I am just glad Cragen let you come home." He said as he squeezed her hand. Olivia smiled. " Oh, go to the livingroom real quick."

" Why?" She asked.

" Just go, detective." He winked.

" Pushy." Olivia said as she walked into the livingroom.

Mark quickly went into the kitchen and helped the girls. He took out a lighter and lit the candles on the cake.

" Can I carry it?" Maria asked a little too loudly. Lilly shushed her.

" Shhh. You have the whisper.." Lilly reminded her. Maria nodded and lowered her voice. Both girls held out their hands to hold the cake. With Mark's help, they carried the cake to a surprised Olivia.

" Why did you..." Olivia started but stopped when she saw the girls and Mark coming in with a chocolate cake with vanilla icing. She could tell the girls made it because of the colorful sprinkles. Olivia smiled.

" Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear mommy. Happy birthday to you!" The girls sung to the best of their abilities. Mark sang along with them and Olivia had to laugh at that. She was so happy Cragen let her come home.

" Awe. Thank you." Olivia said as she blew out the candles. She looked at her family. " You all just made my day." Olivia gave Maria and Lilly hugs and a kiss on the forehead before she turned towards Mark. He had a grin on his face.

" Oh, baby. Thank you so much." Olivia gave him and hug and a kiss on the lips.

" Just want to make you happy." He whispered.

" Well, you are. Both you and the girls have made my day." She smiled. Mark led her to the dinner table.

" Let's have dinner and then the girls have to go to bed." He said with a wink. Olivia knew that wink more than anything. She was going to love what was in store.

" Do we have to? We want to stay up with mommy." Lilly told them. Maria just nodded her head as if she was backing up her sister with the nod of approval.

" Yes, you have to. You gave mommy her cake and now it is bed time cause it is..." He looked at his watch. " Ten o'clock. Way past your bedtime."

Maria and Lilly gave him mean looks. He just shrugged.

" Tell mommy goodnight."

" Wait! We have to give mommy her present." Maria told them. Mark had that look on his face like he didn't know what they did. Lilly went after Maria and both came back with pieces of paper. Lilly gave her picture first to Olivia. The drawing was of her, Olivia, Maria and Mark. Olivia had a suposed crown on her head as if she was a princess. Then sprawled on the bottom of the paper was the words ' Hapy Birthda'. Olivia smiled. Maria then took that cue to give Olivia her gift. Her picture was of a big glitter feasted crown...or at least it looked like a crown. In the middle was the word ' Mommy' and ' Hapy Birthda'. Olivia smiled again. Maria must have saw how Lilly spelled it and copied her big sister.

" Aw. I love these. I will keep these on my desk at work and every time I look at them, they will remind me of both of you." Olivia said as she gave both of them a big hug. " I love you guys so much. You here me?"

" We love you too, mommy." Lilly told her.

" But I love mommy more." Maria argued as she widened her arms to show how much she loved her mom. Olivia laughed.

" I know you both love me very very much, so you don't have to fight about who loves me more. Okay?" She told them. They both nodded. " Well, let's get you to bed." She said as she picked up Maria and Mark picked up Lilly. Mark put Lilly under the covers before tucking her in and giving her a kiss on the forehead.

" I love you princess." Mark told Lilly.

" Love you too daddy."

"Love you so much munchkin." Olivia told Maria. She tickled the little girl and Maria giggled. Olivia smiled as she went to Lilly.

" I love you too, baby." Olivia said as she also tickled Lilly. Olivia straightened up and blew both of them a kiss before walking out the room. Olivia walked to their bedroom and closed the door.

" Hey baby." Mark said with a seductive voice. Olivia smiled as she walked over to him.


	16. When love is all that counts

**A/N: I am soooo sorry guys for not updating like I should have. I had a very long and frustrating writers block, and on top of that, I was studying for my final exams so I can get out of school this Tuesday for summer! Yay! So I hope you all can forgive me, and hopefully, if you are still reading, I can update faster. Anyways, am going to wrap up this story in a chapter or two. I just want to thank those who have stuck by me in this story. Love ya'll!**

**Chapter 16: When love is all that counts**

Waking up, Olivia shielded her eyes from the blinding sun. She looked over to her left and saw that Mark was not there. She smiled thinking of the night before. She had the most amazing night, and Mark made that all possible. As if on cue, Mark came out of the shower and smiled.

" Morning, baby." He said as he came over to her and gave her a kiss.

" Good morning. How long have you been up?" She asked. Mark looked at the time.

" About an hour. The girls are still asleep." He walked over to the closet and got out his clothes.

" Ok. Well, I have to get ready for work." She said as she got up and went to the bathroom to take a shower. 30 minutes later, she came out with her clothes on and her make up done. Mark looked her way and never peeled his eyes off her. She was wearing a pair of pants and a top that was his favorite on her. Olivia knew this even though he really never told her.

" Like something you see?" She teased him. Mark blushed.

" I see something I like whole lot, but shhh. Don't tell my wife. She would kill me if I admitted that." He kidded her. Olivia smirked and grabbed her badge and gun from the locked drawer beside their bed. She went over to Mark and gave him a lingering kiss.

" I love you." She told him.

" I love you too. Be safe." He kissed her back. Olivia went over to the girls room and kissed them before heading out.

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" Hey Liv. How was your birthday?" Elliot asked when he saw her coming into the room with two cups of coffee; one for him and one for her. Both Elliot and Olivia had enough of Munch's so-called coffee that tasted like trash. She placed the hot cup of coffee on his desk before answering him.

" It was really good. I loved it. The girls each gave me a drawing." She smiled thinking of that and the sex filled night she and Mark just shared. Elliot noticed this but decided that it was non of his business.

" Well, I am happy for you." He told her. Olivia smiled.

" Thanks." She said as she began working.

An hour went by before Cragen came out of his office to give them a case of the day.

" Ok. So we have a case. A woman has been complaining of constant crying and screaming in her building. Elliot and Olivia, I want you both to go check it out.

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Elliot and Olivia came back from the apartment the landlord lady showed them to, and found out there was a little girl who had been left alone in the apartment with her baby sister for god knows how many days. It was going to take a long time to track down her mother, but she and her baby sister was taken in by Children Social Services. Olivia hated these types of cases. Half of it was because she had two daughters of her own and she would die before she up and left them. That just was not her. Elliot noticed that she was a little down. He looked at the time and saw that it was 5:50pm. He knew she wanted to see the girls, so he decided to help her out.

" Liv. Why don't you go home. I will let Captain know. Plus I can get both reports done. Don't worry about it." He told her. Olivia looked at him.

" Are you sure?" she asked him. He nodded his head.

" Yeah. Tell the family I said hey."

" Oh my goodness. You have no idea how much you are helping me out right now. Than you so much." She said as she got up. She grabbed her jacket and keys. " I'll see you later, El."

" Bye." He smiled and got back to typing up his report.

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Olivia parked into the driveway and went to the door. She was glad to be home early tonight. She needed some cheering up, and seeing her daughters was going to be her dose of medicine. When she got inside of the house, Olivia smelled her favorite food. Then she heard some chattering and little voices. She smiled and just walked over to the girls rooms where she heard the talking and stood behind it where the girls and Mark couldn't see her.

" Daddy! you have to do it like this!" Maria said in her classic Olivia Benson tone. Mark had to laugh at that. She could be bossy sometimes, and Lilly wasn't that much better. She also fussed at Mark.

" Yeah daddy! You cheat a lot! You no fair." She said in a high pitched voice. Mark threw his hands in the air and made it seem as if he gave up. They was playing a board game and the girls basically made up the rules even though it was the wrong rules. Everything had to go their way. Yup, that was Olivia alright. Olivia chuckled softly. She decided to make herself known.

" Hey guys." Olivia walked over to them. Lilly and Maria ran to her with arms wide.

" Mommy!" Lilly, Maria and Mark said at the same time. Olivia smirked knowing Mark was just joking around. Olivia squatted to hug the girls.

" Hey girlies. I missed you today." She kissed their cheeks.

" We missed you too." Maria said for both of them. Lilly nodded her head in agreement. Olivia smiled and got up to face Mark.

She leaned in towards him and whispered into his ear. " After you are done, I want to talk to you." She told him. Mark nodded his head and got the girls ready for bed while Olivia walked over to their bedroom and took a shower. Half an hour later, Olivia came out with only a towel around her. Mark was already in the room with the door closed.

Olivia came over to sit on the bed beside him.

" What is it, babe?" He asked her. He noticed through her facade that she was a little upset.

" We had a case today involving a mother who just up and left her two daughters that are younger than Maria and Lilly at their apartment. The girls were malnourished, crying and wanting their mother. It then hit me. I want to be the best mother that my mother couldn't be to me. I was a burden to her...and to have to carry a child for nine months and be reminded everyday of your rape through that child. I almost went through that, but I sometimes wish I didn't do the abortion. Anyways, I want you to tell me if I am being a good mother because I want the girls to remember me as the mom who loved them very much and tried her very best." She finally said. She hated to seem weak in front of people, but she knew she could let her guards down with him. Mark took her into his arms and laid down with her on the bed.

" Baby listen to me. You are one of the best mothers I know. You want to know why I think that? I think that because you spend every waking moment with them, and even when you are at work, you still think about them. If they accidentally hurt themselves, I know you would stop the world just to make sure they are ok. Olivia, they already know you love them very much. I even sometimes feel neglected because they talk about you so much. Anybody far or near can tell how lucky Lilly and Maria are to have a mother like you. I am so proud to be here with you to raise our little girls." He told Olivia. Olivia held back the tears that threatened to break loose any second now.

" Thank you so much. You don't have any clue how good that feels to know that you think I am a good mother." She whispered. Mark leaned in to kiss her forehead.

" I will always think of you as a great mother who loves her kids. You know, it is not always in the genes, Liv. It's all about what is in your heart. If you have good intentions, then you are fine. There is no reason for your beautiful face to be wet with tears." He said as he wiped away a stray tear from her face. Olivia gave a small laugh. " Now see, that is what I am talking about. That wonderful smile of yours."

" I love you." Olivia said as she kissed him on the lips. He smiled.

" I love you too." He told her as they embraced in each other's arms. Love was keeping them afloat.

**A/N: As always, read and send me the reviews! I always look forward to them, and by all means, if you have any ideas for what you would like to see happen in the next two chapters, then send me a private message and I will take that into consideration. Be reminded, though, that there might be quite a few requests, so don't take it personal when I can't honor all the requests. Thanks a lot!**


	17. The Perfect Family

**A/N: Ok, my wonderful readers. I am done with this story. I hope you enjoy this last chapter, and I will start my next story soon, so thanks for everything. Happy reading!**

Chapter 17: The Perfect Family

Olivia woke up to the smell of coffee. She smiled and got up beore walking to the girls room. Lilly and Maria were already awake and arguing over whose barbie doll belonged to who. Olivia walked over to them and squatted down.

" Ok. Let me see the dolls." Olivia said as she held out her hand. Lilly and Maria pouted and gave her the barbies. " If you both share, I will take you out for icecream AND we can go to the park. Sounds good?" She asked them. They excitedly nodded their heads.

" Ok mommy." Maria told her. Olivia smiled and gave them each a doll.

" But first, let's go eat something." Olivia scooted them out the door and into the living room where Mark also had made breakfast. Olivia went to him in the kitchen and moved him to where the girls couldn't see them. She gave him a kiss.

" Did I do something?" He smiled as he wrapped his arm around her waist.

" I just wanted to thank you for last night." She kissed him again. Mark pulled her closer.

" No problem. I'll do it again in a heartbeat." He told her as she let go of him and went to join the girls.

--

Olivia and Mark was in their bedroom changing clothes when Olivia turned toward him.

" Oh, I almost forgot. I promised Lilly and Maria that if they shared, we would take them for icecream and take them to the park." Olivia told him. Mark nodded his head.

" Ok. Anyways, I wanted to spend time with you and the girls."

--

They arrived at the park with small icecream cones. Maria and Lilly already finished their cones and set off to play.

" Girls, don't go too far." Olivia told them.

" We won't." Lilly said.

" It's ok, Liv. They will be fine." Mark said as he made a spot for them to sit down. He first got on the blanket before leaving a space for Olivia to sit in between his legs.

" I know, but I can't stop thinking of how I need to protect them." She said as she leaned her head against his chest. Mark began massaging her shoulders.

" What are you wanting to protect them from?" He asked her. He almost sounded like Huang, but Olivia didn't say anything.

" What are you my shrink?" She teased him. " Anyways. It's just like if someone ever laid a hand on them in a hurtful way, you would go balistic. That's how I am, but in a more maternal, loving way."

Mark had to laugh at that cause he knew how she would really act if someone messed with Maria and Lilly. " You can stop that playing, Liv. You know exactly how you would act, and you would not take your time. You would bust their balls put it in a blender. Then you would do more things that I don't want to think about cause I might get sick." He said as a matter of fact.

" Awe. My poor baby can't handle it?" She teased as she squeezed his cheeks. " And yes, that is exactly what I would have done." She said as she leaned back into his body.

" Yeah well." He said. They just relaxed in comfortable silence when Olivia heard Maria scream. She bolted up.

" Maria? Lilly?" She called out. Both Maria and Lilly came over.

" Yeah mommy?" They both looked at her in bewilderment. They didn't know they scared Olivia half to death.

" Oh nothing sweety. Just scared me, that's all." She said as she smoothed the hair out of their faces. She hated that she was so paranoid.

" Mommy, come play with us! " Maria pulled at Olivia's arm.

" Yeah, mommy. Go play. I'll even come." Mark said.

" Ok." Olivia got up and helped Mark up. They got out in the field and Olivia turned towards the girls. " Do you want to play tag?" She asked them.

" Yeah!" They both said excitedly. Olivia smiled and quickly tagged Maria.

" Tag. You're it!" Olivia grinned as she started to run. She didn't run too fast cause she knew she could out run all of them. Being a police officer for so many years can do that to you.

Maria laughed as her tiny legs moved towards Olivia again. When Olivia realized the speed she was going, she slowed down a bit to let Maria catch up to her.

" Ahhh!" Olivia yelled as Maria tagged her.

" Tag! You're it!" Maria said. Olivia then ran over to Mark. He started speeding up just for the fact that they both could run fast.

" I'm going to get you!" Olivia said as she began speeding up her pace more. She finally caught up to him. She tackled Mark to the ground.

" Ugh. My goodness girl! Can you get your elbow off my stomach?" He groaned. Olivia immediately removed her elbow.

" Sorry." She laughed as she kissed him. Lilly and Maria finally caught up with them and jumped on top of Olivia since she was on Mark.

" No! The monsters have caught us! " Mark yelled from being more squished under three girls. The girls giggled.

" We aren't monsters, daddy!" Maria defended. Mark laughed some more.

" Well what are you then?" Olivia asked. She got up and grabbed Maria, turning her upside down by her feet. " Are you a bat?" She asked.

" Mommy! Put...me down!" She laughed so hard she started choking. Olivia immediately turned her right side up.

" Baby, are you alright?" She asked as she patted her back. Maria nodded.

" Ok. Let's go home. I think I had about enough exercising as I can handle for one day." Mark said as he stood up. Olivia picked up Lilly while Mark picked up Maria. They headed up the hill towards the car.

" I had fun daddy." Maria whispered in his ear before she started to fall asleep on his shoulder. Mark smiled. He knew this would tire them out. He looked at Olivia. Lilly too had fell asleep on her shoulder.

" Fast sleepers aren't they?" Olivia asked him. Mark nodded.

" Yeah. I think they get that from me." He told her as they arrived at the car. They put the girls in their seats and buckled them in.

" You don't fall asleep too fast when it comes to you know what." Olivia winked. Mark laughed.

" I guess I won't be sleeping too fast tonight. Especially when I have some inspiration." He wiggled his eyebrows.

" Keep wishing baby." She said as she got in the passenger seat. Mark started the car and they headed home.

**A/N: Thank you all for the reviews and helping me through this story. You all have been the greatest. This was my last chapter. So Thank you again. **


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